Raj's Big Pain!
by MinecraftMan1
Summary: A diving mishap breaks Raj's trunk. How can he handle suck brutal pain? Chappie 4 is up and the storyline is sorta weird
1. Bang! Crash! Smack! Ouch!

**Hey guys. Me again. This is my new story and you're going to get a kick out of it. Read on in the 'down' direction to see what will happen in the first chapter!**

It was a hot summers day, and all four of us were ready to go diving, swimming, and bombing into the water so hard we would splash out the water in Leaky Lake (If that was possible).

We were all ready, and we started doing dares on what to do in the pool.

I got dared to do a belly-flop from the highest diving board.

'But wouldn't that be really painful?' Lazlo asked.

'I've done it over forty times, and each time is less painful' I said.

Lazlo got dared to do a triple pike, then bellyflop. He accepted it.

Clam was dared to do a quadruple pike with 200-degree flip. Accepted.

Raj was dared to: Do a bellyflop: twice. Accepted (Why this dare is stupid is because he had a fear of water and couldn't swim).

I chose to do my dare first. I was so excited.

**Over at the line-up for the diving board.**

I stood behind Edward and in front of Samson. I leaned over to Edward and said something.

'Pssssst' I whispered. 'Can you swim?'

Edward snapped back like usual. 'WELL DUH, YOU LOSER!'

I 'pretended' to mishear and said 'Okay, here are you floaties and life jacket', handing him some gear. Edward just growled....like he usually does.

When Edward finally took his dive (after I yelled out to him 'YOU FORGOT YOUR FLOATIES'), it was my turn to dive. I climbed to the top rung (Inscribed: If you dive from here, you are nuts) and announced to everybody at the top.

'Gentlemen!' I yelled 'I'm going to bellyflop from this diving board!'

Everybody began cheering as I got reading to jump. I bounced a few times, and leapt from the top of the board and got into position for 'splashdown by belly'. But about 3/4 of the way down, the skin on my arms began stretching due to the speed, and I suddenly slowed down to the speed of a feather floating down. My skin was acting like some sort of parachute. Eventually, I 'gently' touched down in the water so slowly I didn't even feel the pain.

'Well, at least I bellyflopped' I said. I got out, my skin went back to normal, and injected the spots with a boatload of Botox (Then I can do a serious bellyflop.)

Lazlo went up, and did a triple pike, and.....BANG! SPLASH! He was in the water. It took him 2 minutes to surface (Painful, obviously)

Clam was the only one NOT doing a bellyflop. He did the quad-pike, flipped 200 degrees, and....not even a bare splash, he had dived perfectly.

'Olympic Diving Team!' Clam yelled on the way down.

I went into Jelly Cabin to get myself changed, while I looked out the window to see Raj going for his second bellyflop (He had done his first and struggled back to shore)

Raj got to the top of the diving boards, and began to walk up. Suddenly, to everybodies horror, and mostly mine, Raj slipped and plummeted to the ground, hitting most of the diving boards along the way. I ran outside and stood with the group, wincing each time Raj hit a diving board (Samson ran off crying as well. He couldn't STAND it!)

CRACK! SLAP! BANG! WHAK! TONK!

At last, after ten boring seconds of wincing, Raj finally hit the ground and seemed to be crying. I was horrified and ran toward him screaming. I had to catch my breath (I wasn't even halfway there...and it was twenty metres from the group to Raj). I screamed Raj's name about 90 times along the way. Then I realised I forgot to put on clothing along the way, since I had just taken off my bathers when I ran outside.

Eventually, after getting some shorts on, I ran back to Raj, screaming again and again. As soon as I got there, there was no sign of life. But he was just unconscious. He should be fine.

I was definitely NOT going to do mouth-to-mouth, so I decided on pushing his chest in and out to resuscitating him to life. After about 5 hard blows to the chest, Raj came to, and spat about 4 of his teeth out. After twenty minutes of finding which tooth goes where and gluing them in place, I checked for injuries.

His spine was in place.

He hadn't cracked his skull.

He hadn't dislocated anything.

His ribs weren't cracked.

And all through the injury finding time he was crying his poor heart out. He just couldn't speak at all. I felt sad for him.

And eventually, I stopped checking for injuries. He seemed fine with nothing but a 45-degree angle on his trunk.

Wait a second...

45-DEGREE ANGLE ON HIS TRUNK?

Oh dear...this must be what he's crying about. This was as shocking as it could get. I mean, I've seen ankles broken, bones sticking out, bulls goring people, but this was about 274 times WORSE!

'Raj...' I uttered. '...there is...a serious...problem with....your....nose.....'

Raj kept on crying like a schoolgirl with a bleeding knee (compared to what animal he is). I had seen too much crying. This was a serious EMERGENCY!

I was feeling too sick of watching Raj cry about his trunk. I had to get him to Nurse Leslie's.

'Looks like I need the Lemmings for this' I thought.

I called for the Lemmings, who loaded Raj on a stretcher.

'Here's $10 for each of you. Great job.' I said to them.

Making their usual 'hup-hup-hup-hup' sounds, they ran off with Raj to Nurse Leslie's. I hoped for one thing; That Raj would be just fine. Hopefully.

I walked over to Lazlo and Clam.

'Guys.' I said. 'I'm going to be with Raj for quite a while. He's going to need all the help he needs.' I then ran off and caught up with the Lemmings.

**Well, that's a long chapter by my standards. Will be updating Chapter 2 in a few days. Maybe hours. I'm not sure. Stay stuck to the story!**


	2. Trunk Cast Making

**Chapter 2 is UP! HAVE FUN READING! After the horrifying injury, Raj needs a cast and Nurse Leslie hasn't got one (due to shortages). But can I make one?**

I ran into Nurse Leslie's first aid room where I spotted the Lemmings placing Raj down on the bed. Nurse Leslie hooked up Raj to a few wires, IV drips and a gas mask to keep him nice and sleepy. I took a bottle of liquid from out of nowhere which has been known to stop pain. Raj was still awake, but not much, as he was tired from the gas. While I injected some liquid out of the bottle, thoughts churned through my mind. What will happen with Raj's trunk? Will he be okay? Will Jelly Cabin BE DEVASTATED?

The answer to those questions are completely different. Go figure!

Anyhow, I injected Raj's trunk. He kept weeping, but slowly and softly. I held his hand (well, he was about to sleep, so I just held it for him. He couldn't hold it up).

'Relax' I said. 'Just get some rest. Now go to sleep'

Raj dropped off at last. Nurse Leslie wheeled his stool next to me, like he usually does.

'What's the problem?' he asked.

I pointed at Raj. 'Well duh! You only hooked him up with stuff a few minutes ago!' I said, rolling my eyes.

'Oh, right' Nurse Leslie said with his usual deadpan tone. He wheeled Raj off into the X-Ray room.

I sat there. Bored. I waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

And more.

And even more.

And still more.

OKAY! THAT WAS IT! I'M TOO BORED!

I walked out of the First Aid room, and minutes later, returned with heaps of Lego boxes. I started building a sculpture. That was how I spent a few hours of my life waiting for Raj.

Nurse Leslie later wheeled Raj out, by the time I had finished my sculpture. It was a life-sized Raj with the words 'Get well Raj' spelt out above his head.

'Seriously bad news' Nurse Leslie said. 'The first one is that Raj has seriously fractured his trunk and will need a week of healing.'

'Ah...nuts' I said.

'The second one is, I've ran out of casts'

'O.O'

'Yes, that's right'

'_'

'That means three weeks of healing.'

'X.X'

Those three faces practically described the faces I made when Nurse Leslie spoke those three times.

'NO CASTS? ARE YOU MAD?' I yelled

'Yes. We had a shortage after the beaver kid broke all his bones in a freak speedboat accident' Nurse Leslie replied.

'When did that happen?'

'Only six hours ago.'

Well, that explains the mummy I found next to Soy Cabin while I ran to Nurse Leslie's office. But, apart from that, I was devastated. I carefully carried Raj back to Jelly Cabin very slowly.

I set him down nicely on the bed. He needed rest. He couldn't afford to move any part of his body.

'I can deliver you food to your bed every day' I said. 'And I'll brainstorm what I can do to make a cast'

After a few hours of brainstorming, I didn't know. I needed something like plaster, a good type of material for casts. Suddenly, I had the perfect idea.

'Raj, are you pondering what I'm pondering?' I said.

'I think so dude, but how can you ponder like that?' Raj asked.

'No Raj, I have pondered a great idea for a cast! I know this type of white cloth with powdery stuff on it which, when wet, can set into a plaster like substance. Perfect!' I said.

'Naaaaarf....good idea!' Raj said.

I ran outside. I knew where this cloth was kept. Scoutmaster Lumpus's closet (he never uses it, though)

&&&

I ran from Scoutmaster Lumpus's house with 2 boxes of cloth. I burst through the door of Jelly Cabin (knocking it down in the process), and saw quite a crowd gathered around Raj. Lazlo, Clam, Edward, The Dungs, Samson, The Loons, The Lemmings, and even two squirrel scouts (Terrifield and Honey, to be precise) were there.

'Alright weirdos!' I yelled. 'I'm a random unlicensed elephant surgical yadda yadda blahdyblahblah! I have all the things I need'

I pulled out cloths, a sledgehammer, water and one of those things that record your heart-rate (and flatlines when you die).

Raj perked up. 'What is the sledgehammer for?'

'So I can make the operation a dream' I said.

Raj shuddered at the thought of being hit on the head with the sledgehammer.

'Side effects include memory loss, asthma, allergy reactions to sledgehammer rubber and sudden changes into celebrity impersonations, mainly Paris Hilton or Barbara Streisand' I informed.

I raised my sledgehammer to knock out Raj, so he could sleep through the operation. Raj was almost crying. Before that, I informed everybody that they could watch me.

Suddenly, I put the sledgehammer down, grabbed a needle and stuck it straight into his arm, and injected him with something! Raj started screaming like his life depended on it, then suddenly his voice lowered into a more slurred voice.

'Ooh, your a pretty hot chiiiii-----' Raj uttered in a drunk manner, and passed out.

'What did you inject in him?' asked Edward.

'Beer' I said. 'That way, I can assure no symptoms except unusual behaviour. Although....I do like Paris Hilton'. I knocked him with the sledgehammer for once. 'Okay, we're all good'

While I happily hummed the tune to 'Bimbo Bus', I carefully placed Raj's trunk on a leveled platform, just to ensure I wouldn't make a cast that was going at a forty-five degree angle (he could be in a freak show for this!). Then I wet the cloths of dried plaster and layed them on his trunk one by one.

This operation was going nowhere, so I got a radio and put in my favourite tape, which contained songs I liked (Bimbo Bus, Come on Eileen, Cool for Cats, and pretty much eighties songs in general). The other campers began to party like it was schoolies.

And eventually, it was five hours later before I finished the cast. It was still wet on the outside (the inside was dry), so I used a hairdryer to finish off the plaster. Perfect timing too, as Raj woke up when I turned off the hairdryer.

'That's hot!' Raj said.

'Yeah, that's Paris Hilton alright!' I exclaimed.

'No, no, no! The plaster is hot!' Raj screamed.

'Oh, okay' I said. 'Well, I made your cast. You'll be just fine right now.'

Raj had a smile on his face. It was the first time I had seen him smile in over half a day. Everyone was just staring at me.

'Uh, are you all still here?' I said. 'If you need to know, this operation is over!'

**Chapter 2 ended! A little unusual. With the serious injury and uh, beer injection, I think I better up the rating a bit. Chapter 3 will be up soon.**


	3. From Popular to Absolutely Shaken

**Chapter 3 is up! Please review this one. Flames are okay with me, I just need your opinions on how my stories are. Some fluff with Raj probably, and even an attack by a bear!**

'This cast makes my trunk all itchy and scratchy' Raj said.

'Are you talking about something from the Simpsons or do you need a fork?' I asked.

'The fork' Raj replied.

No point with that. I gave Raj a fork and he happily scratched himself for a really long time. He was satisfied, eventually.

The next morning, I would take Raj out for a walk around camp, even going across the lake for a little visit on the other side. Raj would probably have a chat with Nina. I could take Lazlo and Clam as well, so they can catch up with their girlfriends (LazloxPatsy....hint hint?).

**The following morning...**

All four of us got up early and we went to have breakfast (Pancake Tuesday, Clam practically leapt from his bed and ran off repeating 'pancakes'). As soon as I had opened the door, everybody like, looked at Raj and started cheering!

'This isn't part of our morning' I said.

They carried Raj off to the front of line and Chef McMusely gave him extra pancakes. I thought 'Raj must be the most popular kid in camp right now'.

Raj was getting so much attention that he got to play tetherball and win each game. He played baseball and everybody cheered him when he got a home run. They let him have every single marshmallow for the nightly roasts as well.

He got so much attention that we finally got to go to Acorn Flats one week later.

Jane Doe was there to greet us at the pier. After getting to know Raj's 'diving malfunction', all ten Squirrel Scouts were playing with him. Eventually Patsy got the breakaway to talk with Lazlo for once.

All the others remained with Raj (he was practically counting how many times they called him 'sexy', and he was up to 27).

Raj was so happy that he stayed with the Squirrel's for about 5 hours.

After that, we decided to take the long way around and go through the woods to say 'hello' to all the animals along the way.

About halfway into the woods, however, we heard this low growling sound in the fog. It sounded like some sort of bear.

Some rustling in the bushes, and then, a brown bear, rather known as Fluffy, came out from the trees and roared at us.

'I'm quite sure he is not saying hello' I said. 'RUN!'

We all ran around and hid in a nearby bush while Fluffy began roaring and growling like a madman. I began to do a head count.

'One' I pointed to Lazlo. 'Two' I pointed to Clam. 'And three' I pointed to myself. 'Okay, looks like all four of us are here!'

Wait two seconds....

I counted three, but then I said 'all FOUR of us'. So that means.....

....WHERE IS RAJ?

I poked by eyes through the bush where I saw Fluffy with his back turned to us and what seemed to be him stuffing his mouth full of something.

'Okay Fluffy, what are you doing' I said in a cute, low voiced manner.

Fluffy turned around. I could tell Fluffy was up to something straight away. His cheeks were stuffed with something.

'Good Fluffy, come towards me and stop when I say so...' I added.

'How do you do that?' asked Lazlo.

'Bear whisperer' I said.

Fluffy began to walk towards me, practically hypnotised into what I was saying. I told him to stop about 10 inches away from me.

'Now Fluffy, what have you got in your mouth....' I went on.

Fluffy didn't show, but something popped out of his mouth. Something pink, long and covered in slabs of saliva. It was Raj's trunk.

'Fluffy, spit out Raj please.' I said.

Fluffy didn't obey me, but shoved Raj's trunk back into his mouth, and swallowed him whole. I was absolutely surprised that a bear could do that.

'RAJ!' Lazlo and Clam screamed.

'Oh, relax.....I know what to do. I am the bear whisperer aren't I?' I said, calming them down.

Raj was yelling something out from Fluffy's stomach, but it was too muffled and incoherent.

I ran behind Fluffy and whacked him on the back forty times. That didn't work, so I used firm speech.

'Fluffy, I'm going to give you to the count of three to retch....no....spit.....no.....regurgitate Raj or else you will suffer consequences' I warned. 'One.....Two....'

Before I said three, Fluffy began his best to regurgitate Raj. After three best attempts at retching, he tried his fourth. Suddenly, his cheeks puffed up again. He opened his mouth, and a pink, saliva-caked object could be seen. It rolled out, fell down and splattered on the ground in front of me. After cleaning up the thing with palm leaves, I could see what it was. It was some sort of pachyderm. I finally recognised it. It was Raj. He spat a few times and got up without any conditions. He even had his cast on still. He would be fine.

'Relax guys. Raj is fine' I said 'He just got eaten, swallowed, then regurgitated in a fashion that was disgusting'

Raj was shaken, immobilised and shocked. But, like I said, fine.

When we got back to Jelly Cabin, we carried Raj to his bed, and let him lie there so he could recover from his ghastly, brutal incident.

'What....just....happened?' Raj stuttered.

'You got eaten by Fluffy' I said. 'Just get some rest.'

Now that we were safely back in the cabin, we got dinner at the Mess Hall. Raj didn't come, so we saved him some mashed potatoes and a piece of chicken for him. He ate it slowly, but whimpered while he chewed the potatoes.

Poor Raj was as immobilised as a statue. He didn't feel like playing games. And when Edward came in to play checkers with him, Raj began crying. We explained the entire incident to Edward in a full paragraph. Edward was shocked. He ran outside to tell everybody else about the gossip.

Everybody was at the door later on. Raj began screaming, as well as crying. Clam blocked the entrance while Lazlo told everybody that Raj really needed heaps of rest so he could recover from the incident.

Raj slowed down to a whimper, and eventually got to sleep, but we could still hear him crying in a soft, slow manner. Raj was going to need plenty of rest, I thought.

**The last four paragraphs were really sad, even I felt for Raj then! Chapter 4 will be up in a few days. To be honest, most of the story is sad. Check out Chapter 4....if you can hold back the tears.**


	4. Daydreaming and Brainstorming

**It's been quite a while guys! But I have finally got this chapter updated! Chapter 4 of my saddest story possible! Have a great read!**

Early in the morning, the sun peeped in through the window mesh. I was up within ten seconds. Lazlo and Clam stirred in the next fifty-three seconds.

'Good morning Raj,' I said. But when I gazed upon his body, I realised that for him, it was definitely not a GOOD morning for him.

He was as rigid as a statue. His eyes was staring at the ceiling, not blinking. The light didn't reflect of his eyes, giving me clues that he had not blinked in hours. He had practically suffered enough in the previous days. I poked him in one of his eyes with a stick. He didn't even wince. His eyes were bloodshot, with criss-cross red veins visible. He was breathing still, but in short, slow breaths. Every now and then he made a small, barely audible whimper.

Best to leave Raj alone.

We just got dressed and left the cabin. Raj barely moved a muscle, except his chest, which he was meant to breathe with.

Throughout the entire day, Raj was immobilised. I gave him food from the Mess Hall, but he didn't even eat a thimble. I tried singing songs, but I don't think part of his huge ears listened. Lazlo tried putting shampoo in his eyes, but he didn't even wince again. Clam thought of a pipe-organ, a trombone, a giant set of drums and a brass band. Nothing worked.

Night fell, day came.

Raj didn't even sleep.

All we heard throughout the night was low breaths and whimpers, Clam's drooling, and Lazlo's sleeptalking (peace, animals and love).

Morning came.

Raj was still awake, in the exact same condition as before.

Through the next three nights, Raj didn't eat, sleep, drink, move and stared at the same spot all night and day. His whimpering turned into crying on the second day, and he began blinking for once. But he didn't budge from his spot. He still wouldn't eat or drink.

After 29 hours of crying, he went back to whimpering. The three of us got so bored, that instead of playing, we sat in Jelly Cabin all day, only getting up to get food for Raj (which he didn't eat, so I ate it. Clam didn't even eat Pancake Tuesday)

I couldn't stand it any more.

I got up for once, walked to Raj's bedside and started speaking in a low, soft manner.

'Raj, you've been as scared as a schoolgirl with a giant spider.' I said. 'Just for once, do something that doesn't involve tears.'

Raj didn't move.

I tried again and again. Finally, I went to extreme proportions.

No, it wasn't the sledgehammer.

I got out 5 needles, stuck them on boths his arms, his legs and on his trunk. I injected him (for the third time in one week) with something yellowish.

He, at last, did something. He screamed, and turned drowsy again.

'Was that more beer you injected him with?' asked Lazlo.

'Not this time' I said. 'Morphine'

Raj sat up, still with tears rolling down his face. He collapsed seconds later, probably giving the fact you shouldn't inject small elephants with high doses of morphine. He tried sitting up, but he kept falling back onto his pillow. I grabbed the other two pillows from Lazlo and Clam's beds and put them down behind Raj's back, where he could sit up normally.

'Good boy' I said.

Raj's brain was slushy. Some rehab from that morphine would do just fine before he could finally speak.

**Four hours later (and still, Raj wouldn't eat. More food)**

I was expecting Raj to talk for at least ONCE!

But.

He.

Still.

Wasn't.

TALKING.

I took the pillows away for some fluffing, but Raj, yet again, collapsed straight back onto the bed.

I guess morphine doesn't work.

But what will crack an elephant to talk for once?

I guess it's time for two little (no, long) words that we use all the time to solve hard problems

It's called brainstorming. And daydreaming.

Lazlo and Clam sat around daydreaming while I ate Raj's dinner (hot dogs). I don't think I wanted to eat anymore.

Clam came up with a really good idea.

'Upside-down Raj!' Clam yelled.

That was a great idea!

I got some industrial glue from somewhere in a chest of drawers (bring everything you need, and heaps more just in case), picked up Raj, and got a ladder. While Clam turned Raj upside down with his feet near the ceiling, I squirted glue on the ceiling. Clam stuck him on by his feet.

'What has this got to do with helping Raj?' asked Lazlo

'The blood will rush to his head, making him think...l think...' I said.

Raj's cast fell on my head. I climbed up the ladder and put it back on.

'Now Raj is falling apart!' I said.

**One hour later.....**

I looked at Raj with interest.

His face was turning red. All the blood really is rushing to his head. What a smart fellow I am!

It's a bit like doing a handstand. If you do a handstand and accidently lock into place, you will balance like that until somebody helps you. If nobody helps you, all the blood suddenly rushes into your head, your head swells up like a balloon, and soon you're spewing blood, getting huge nosebleeds, and busting blood vessels. Eventually, it's not long before your head explodes and you finally die of head inflation....or whatever it's called. And then the cleaner has to come along and clean up the mess you made. Not that you'll get punishment since you're dead anyway.

**But that's another story...**

Let's just focus on the real story. Raj is hanging upside down from the ceiling. Me and Clam put him there so we could make him talk. All the blood will rush to his head, making him talk....hopefully. We won't worry about his head exploding because if he's starting to get symptoms we'll have to pull him down and make all the blood rush back through his veins and arteries and so on....

So far his only symptom is a giant nosebleed he's been having for three minutes.

Elephants getting nosebleeds?

Okay, that's just too weird.

I only started noticing it when my head was getting wet with something red. So I look up and see he has a giant nosebleed. Now we put a bucket under him to catch all the blood. Now I have to shampoo a few times tonight to get the stench of elephant blood out of my hair.

And we're still watching him now.

Raj was hanging upside-down...

He was grimacing.

He was about to explode.

No, not his head.

But with a SCREAM!

'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' screeched Raj.

Time to pull him down.

Using some glue loosener, I loosened the industrial glue and Raj fell straight to the ground. Lazlo tried to catch him, but Raj is almost twice as heavy as Lazlo, so Lazlo get's crushed. Raj gets a nice cushioned fall (not that Lazlo really cares).

Raj started talking for one of the first times in a few weeks.

'That bear ate me.' Raj piped. 'It was....so horrible'

'We all know.' I said.

Raj finally ate something, went outside for play and got more popular again.

He is finally a happy elephant, but there is one question lingering in my mind.

Has Raj's trunk healed yet?

Its been way over a week. The truth is released....

Tomorrow.

It's a bit like the picking of which city will host the next Olympics. Everybody on television watches on. The man has the envelope in his hand. He walks up to the podium. Somebody press rolls on a snare drum. He reaches the podium. He opens the envelope and pulls out a piece of paper. Everybody holds their breath. Young and old, adults and even animals. Let's all hope this doesn't take a week so everybody dies from holding their breath and there's a whole pile of bodies left in the streets and the same cleaner who cleaned up your exploding head has to clean up all the bodies. Not that they'll all get punishment cause they'll be dead as well. The man finally reads out the city name.

Rio De Janeiro.

Every contender country except Brazil groans in disappointment. Brazillians everywhere cheer like it was Woodstock.

Why are they even CELEBRATING? They won't get to host for seven years!

Well, I guess that's what Brazillians would do if Rio got to host the Olympics.

**But that's also another story!**

The only thing that matters is: Has Raj's trunk healed? Yet?

**Okay, some weird stuff in that chapter. Nosebleeds, Olympics and sub-plots that don't even tie to the main-plot. Weird chapter but nobody cares.**

**FINAL CHAPTER TO BE UP ......**

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